Terrible First Impressions
by kohchan
Summary: "Peach waited. Coughed into her hand. Waited some more. Ike took one look at Marth, choked a little on his food, and bursted into laughter." eventual ike/marth, EXTREMELY in-progress, rated T for bad words! :o
1. Chapter 1

Princess Peach Toadstool was a little scared.

Actually, she was terrified.

Considering she'd been kidnapped by a certain freaky-looking Koopa King asshole over a thousand times, she shouldn't be afraid of anything anymore.

It's not like she had to do anything dangerous. Her task was simple: Announce to the new smashers their roommates, as decided by Master Hand. It was only normal that he'd choose a dignified princess like Peach to take over the "mother" role of the group. And everyone just sort of accepted this. All of the players got along fine and took their shared bedrooms as an oppurtunity to make some new friends. Well, almost all.

Peach glared at the sheet of paper in her hand, willing it to change.

"Oh, mother of Toadsworth, why me?"

* * *

><p>"O-Okay Ike.. I know you like to, ah, eat a lot.. But please, can you just, um, act polite for a moment?"<p>

Ike paused his chomping and chewing to give the princess an "Are you shitting me?" look.

"Please! If you want to make a successful impression on your new roommate-"

"What's the point of acting like a pussy just to impress some stranger?"

"Well, I'm not saying-"

"And besides, if I don't act like myself, they won't know who they're really living with, right?"

Peach sighed in exasperation. This was going to be tough.

She walked out of the room and returned with a boy. Upon seeing Ike, his face went from sweet to absolutely disgusted.

"Um, Ike, if you could _stop eating_ for two minutes, I'm here to let you know where your new room is, as well as announce your new roommate, Prince Marth of Altea."

Peach waited.

Coughed into her hand.

Waited some more.

Ike took one look at Marth, choked a little on his food, and bursted into laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

"E-Excuse me, is there something you'd like to say to me?"

To say Marth was furious would be an understatement. His face was burning all kinds of red at the mercenary's incredibly rude outburst, and he was _fuming_. Ike, on the other hand, didn't seem phased.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you, _princess_." At that comment, Marth delivered a very painful blow to the face, leaving Ike unconscious and Peach frozen in place.

And that was the end of that.

* * *

><p>When Ike finally woke up, he was in a bed. His new bed, in fact. By the looks of his condition, it appeared that Peach had tried her very best to drag him all the way here. He laughed while imagining the poor girl dragging him along the ground by his feet, tripping over her heels and stumbling around, only to find that his face was throbbing. Oh, right.<p>

"I hope you're prepared to apologize."

"Huh?"

"I _said_, I hope you're prepared to apologize for what you've done. You made a fool of me, and I find your actions quite insulting. I highly doubt that you wish to relive this morning's little incident, correct?" Ike took that as a warning sign. No way in hell would he have his dignity ripped to shreds by getting beat up by some pansy on his first day.

"Yeah, sorry. I, uh- Well you know, this is my first time here, so I'm not really used to being around polite and proper little boys, and I-"

"'_Little boys_'? How dare you address me in such a manner!" Marth's expression grew hostile, and Ike put his hands up in defense.

"Look, I don't know what your deal is, man, but you can't expect to be treated like royalty by everyone around here, so you might as well deal with it." The prince only crossed his arms and pouted angrily in response, unintentionally proving Ike's point further.

* * *

><p>Two painful weeks later, things had hardly gotten better. Zelda, Pit, Link, and hell, even Captain Falcon had attempted to make the swordsmen get along.<p>

"God, just shut the hell up!"

Samus was majorly pissed, as her peaceful breakfast of champions, a bowl of cereal, had been interrupted. Marth had chased Ike into the kitchen, sword in hand, shouting something about dignity and honor and other princely bullshit, determined to slaughter him for some reason or another. The kitchen was soon filled with various shouting and profanities, (including Samus slipping on a thrown banana peel and smashing her face into the wall) only to be silenced by a meek little voice.

"Uh, I don't mean to interrupt, but I- I was wondering if we could talk for a second.." Marth turned to see that this voice belonged to none other than.. Kirby?

The pink puffball hopped over to Marth, looking quite embarrassed. Samus had fled the room before she severely injured someone, and Ike just stood there dumbfounded, wondering what the hell to do.

A blushing Kirby whispered something to Marth, who promptly turned as pink as the creature himself.

"Ah, that's very sweet, but- Well, we aren't exactly.. the same species. And, you see, I'd prefer to just be..um, friends...and..uh.."

"Right, I- I understand.." Kirby mumbled, floating out of the room as quickly as possible, fighting back tears. Marth didn't want to make the cute little thing cry, but seriously? This was ridiculous! What the hell was wrong with these people?

Marth turned to face Ike, realizing that he would most likely be made fun of for this occurrence for a _very_ long time, and prepared to defend himself.

He stared for a long time, realizing he had absolutely nothing to say once Ike started cracking up.

No longer able to contain himself, his angry expression dissolved into laughter, and for the very first time, the two didn't argue.


End file.
